.:.late night musings.:.

it's quite late, and i'm very very tired...but the thoughts are whirling round in my head and i've been studying for far too long...just need to sit and be here for a minute before i try to get some sleep...maybe get a few random things out of my mind.

for the past 8 days, i've been sick...sick enough to miss four days of classes, and to do nothing but lie in bed, miserable and feverish and coughing...i think it was probably the first time in months that i've just had to stop and do nothing...so in between the sleeping, horribly bad movie-watching, sore-throat-tea-drinking...i came to a conclusion (or ten)...so here goes nothing:

1. i am not a one-woman show...i am not a rock, i am not an island (unlike simon and garfunkel)...i've been trying to do everything on my own, as i'm sadly one of those individuals who will not ask for help, unless it's like, life or death...but moving to a new city, attending a new school, not knowing anyone, or where to go to accomplish the simplest tasks...yeah, it's pretty humbling...but since i've always been happy to do something for another person, why should i not give the same consideration to myself?...and being so ill, on top of everything else, forced me to realize that i can be my own support system, but it's not so bad to ask others for their support, especially when i REALLY need it!...like marcus in nick hornby's "about a boy" says: "you can't have just one person...you need at LEAST two, maybe three."

not the most startling realization to come to, i suppose, but a good one nonetheless. :D

2. hmmmm...bloody hell! i've forgotten the others...i imagine that means i am too sleepy, and should head off bedward.

anyhow...to those friends who have reached out to me these past few lonely weeks, i say from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything...the phone calls, emails, chicken soup, etc....i couldn't have got through this without you!

to those friends i haven't yet met: it'll be a pleasure, i'm sure!

good night,
much love!!

xoxo